Sunday, August 18, 2013

HOLDING ON TO LET GO- (OR: Atraverssiamo)

I know that title sounds a bit "oxymoronic", but let me explain.
(You knew I would, right? That's why you're reading this....)

Approximately 16-17 years ago we were living in New Mexico. That's when my husband Mark and I began to research retiring in Costa Rica.  Some gentlemen whom Mark was working with at the time were on the verge of retirement. They kept telling him about:
>>>Trips they'd taken to PARADISE
>>>The great Ex-Pat communities established here
>>>And the financial benefits of living in a "developing" country - NOT THIRD WORLD as most people think of it.
"Third world" is terminology which provided a way of broadly categorizing the nations of the Earth into three groups based on social, political, and economic divisions. Here's a link that will help you better understand what "third world" means, and why Costa Rica DOES NOT fall under this category.


Now...where was I ?   Oh yes, ..... During those years we began researching Costa Rica, mostly through an informative newsletter we signed up to receive via email called WE LOVE COSTA RICA by Scott Oliver:  An Ex-Pat  from Australia who does a great job gleaning information about Central America and specifically Costa Rica! He receives and shares testimonials from numerous individuals, groups, etc., so that people can decide for themselves if this is the place for them.  He has lots of Real Estate sources as well for those looking to buy existing properties, or build.  And, he gives you the good testimonials as well as the bad so you aren't just hearing one side of the story.

This newsletter, along with surfing the Internet and staying in touch with a few of the guys and gals he worked with then who actually made the break to retire in Costa Rica several years ago, continued to keep our interest alive.  That, and the fact that The Lord kept building up the desire within us for this Central American country and her people.  I don't know why, other than it is the destiny He had assigned for us.


Between 2007-08 we received a prophetic declaration twice from trusted members of the Prophecy Team at our home church (Convergence Church of Fort Worth) that "you will minister to the Spanish community and language will not be a barrier."   Since prophetic words (should) always confirm something the Lord is already saying to you, or has done previously, we knew this to be truth - and here's why: A short time after Mark and I were ordained in a small church in Lakehills, Texas, we were ministering in a Spanish speaking church called Christ Is My Refuge in the barrios of San Antonio.  The first nite we went to minister in Worship and the Word,  the people began waving at their Pastor, Felix Gonzales, who was translating for us.  After finding out what they were trying to tell him, he turned to Mark and said, "I'm going to sit down because they understand you perfectly - they don't need me to translate!"  ONLY GOD!

All that to say that it has been happening here with the people of Costa Rica  as well, though I was a little slow on the up-take.  When we would go to town and try to communicate without really being able to speak Costa Rican Spanish dialect well at all, Mark & I kept saying, "Oh, I wish we could speak their language better!"  Then one day as I was posting a Facebook comment about all the surreal conversations we were having with this happy, gracious community of people in El Cajon de Grecia, The Lord said to me, "Funny, isn't it, that you're communicating with the Spanish people and language isn't a barrier?"  God is just a kick in the pants!!!!

That is not to say that we aren't tying to learn their language, but meanwhile, it is not hindering us in any way!  That's one of the things we love about the people most.  They desire relationship so much and they will do whatever it takes to have that with everyone they encounter!   In fact, some of you may remember my first blog about my shoulder issue and the little lady who helped me find the right sized sling at one of the FarMAcia's in Grecia Central.  I asked if I could take our picture together that day and we exchanged emails because she wanted me to send her the picture.   She responded to my email and said this:

"Jeanie thanks for the picture, it was a pleasure for me to serve, I hope a speedy recovery.
May God always bless you wherever you go. I know it was no accident it was written in God's purpose to meet you. By the way, if you are here in Grecia, CR. I would like to invite you to my house for coffee, and my two sons to meet you.
God bless and keep you, and that He will guide your steps. You are a very special family.
Fenny"


This is the "norm", btw, for these people to want to get to know you personally.  Some gringos have a jaded opinion about that, but I  know The Lord brought us here to connect relationally with these beautiful people where He seems to have called us to spread His Grace - and it would appear evident we are to receive it from them as well!  

Many people have had the misunderstanding that we are on a missions trip (only) in the typical sense. Well, I guess we are - but not like you think. Mostly, we are here for the aforementioned reasons, and because we desire to live among these people and in this country for which He has given us an extreme love. Every encounter I have with them makes me love them more, and makes me more grateful that God had these things written down in His book of remembrance for us since the foundations of the Earth!

 Many times since our decision to begin residency proceedings, Mark and I have asked each other, "Did you think you'd be here doing this when you were in High School?" LOL!

AND..... Lest you think it is just us who feel this way, let me add that our neighbors, Jen and Greg Seymour -[the young couple who at the age of 40-42 years old, decided that the stress of the corporate life they were living was not worth the early death it seemed to be promising...and sold it all to come to Costa Rica]... feel the same way as we do about this area and the people! They, too, are experiencing the kind of joy we are experiencing as they live life daily and interact with the tico's and tica's here: Native titles for male and female Costa Ricans.

NOTE:  (I will see if Jen and Greg will give us permission to share some of their blogs.  Jen's blogs are interesting enough to have captured the attention of the Costa Rican News, and they recently asked her to write an article in blog form for them, which will in turn draw attention to her blog page.   Her husband, Greg, writes some very interesting articles as well.  Hopefully, they will both allow me to share a few with you in the near future. :)

So, what am I holding on to -to let go of?  Well, it is hard to believe that in just three short years both of our daughters (Caitlin and Shelbye) have gotten married - each of them respectively to two very amazing, godly young men who are God's very best for each of them!


Above: Caitlin with her husband, Kalen Dermott.....Below: Shelbye with her husband, Daniel Gingerich



And, if that's not enough for a mother's heart, our oldest daughter, Caitlin and her husband Kalen, are expecting their first baby - the first grandchild on both sides - October 29th, 2013!

Below: Our beautiful grandson!  



That's a lot of magnanimous changes in family dynamics in just a few short years!  Perspective is huge when it comes to stuff like this.

Mark and I took our first trips to check out Costa Rica LIVE in person in 2009. We came a second time in 2010,  just shortly after Caitlin and Kalen were married.  Our plan for 2013 was to make two, 2-3 month trips to Costa Rica to see if we still think we want to do this long term. REMEMBER THAT PERSPECTIVE I SPOKE OF ABOVE? Well, a lot can happen in 3 short years and it can seem so quick! On the other hand, the thought of being gone for 2-3 months seemed like an eternity to me!  In any case, on May 8th we came here to Richard's once again (which borders the FINCA coffee vineyards) in El Cajon Arriba where we've stayed each time we've visited Costa Rica. It really doesn't get much better than this in the Central Valley- which is the general consensus of many who've stayed where we are staying.


We returned to the USA on June 26th and then returned to Costa Rica again July 24th.  We will be here until October 3rd when we will return to Fort Worth for the birth of Baby Boy Dermott! Words cannot sufficiently express the feelings we are experiencing right now as we anticipate his arrival, but that's a story for "otro día" =another day!"

2011 held some major challenges for us in that Mark was on the threshold  of retirement after 44 years of working as a defense contracts manager -first for the government and then for the private sector: Lockheed Martin, to be specific. We knew we had to sell the big house with the big mortgage in Weatherford in order to live on a reduced retirement income. (There should be prep classes and therapy for everyone as they head into these uncharted waters! Just sayin'! )

 So, we did!  We sold the house within two and a half weeks of listing with a brilliant young real estate broker.  Then we took the money from the big house and paid cash for an older, smaller home that was in renewed and upgraded condition (Our broker told us it was a God-find), leaving us debt free!!!!

You'd think we had it made in the shade, but living in America on a reduced income is nearly impossible, and Mark and I DO NOT SPLURGE!   For the first time in our married lives we wondered how people making any less than our retirement income were able to survive!? (We lost 100K annual pay when  Mark left his career field: Yowch!).

Thankfully, Mark has always been a planner, and since his early days in the Air Force, he PAID his savings account like a bill - NO WAVERING!  (A good plan young people!  Sometimes it meant going without- or not doing something we wanted to do, but we have retirement accounts and a good sized savings to show for it that makes it possible for us to  live our dream and follow The Lord where He is leading us in our Golden Years!)

Below:  My stud, best friend, lover, best DAD in the world, as well as a humble spiritual leader of our family- LOVE HIM!



On April 30, 2012 Mark retired fully, right about the time I was beginning some major healing restoration that we'd prayed for 14 years to become a reality! That's a story for another day, but thank The Lord for His Grace which empowered us both to make it through the end of 2011, as if seeling your home, moving and retirement all at the same time wasn't hard enough!!!

I, Jeanie, literally "hit the wall: emotionally, spiritually, physically during that time, and  I can safely say that only the saving Grace of Jesus got me through those extremely  challenging days beginning October 5th of 2011 through June 19, 2012 when I crested the most difficult days of my restoration journey and headed toward the victory the Lord promised was coming by the end of the year.   Had it not been for the Rhema Word the Lord gave me on January 2nd 2012, I don't know if I could have held on.  That day - January 2nd 2012- I had reached the point, after 14 years of contending for my physical healing both spiritually and naturally and not seeing it manifest, that I was really okay with just going to sleep and not waking up!  I'll never forget sitting at my desk that day, 01/02/2012 (interesting number combo!) asking God, "What are we doing here Lord?"   He said loud and clear in my spirit, "2012 will be a year of restoration, and a year to see dreams fulfilled that have long laid dormant!"  

PAUSE FOR A REVELATION MOMENT!!! ----Wow!!! As I typed that last paragraph, I realized that this - COSTA RICA - is one of the dreams being fulfilled that has long laid dormant!  (Pause for a crying session with the Lover of my life, soul and spirit!)

All these things are exciting, but a bit scary at the same time!   I, Jeanie, had a career also at one time, but I chose to stay home and be a "Mom". I home schooled our girls and loved every minute that I invested in their lives. Problem is, I invested deeply, and though I am running toward this new adventure Mark and I are on with great Joy, there is also much pain in letting go of the family that hovered around the home fires all those  years!  I have gradually become accustomed to our daughter's statuses as "Sadie' Sadie, married ladies"  ( a term only Fannie Brice fans can appreciate!) ..... - but three years, as I mentioned before, is really not a lot of time to process all those cataclysmic changes completely. And MY heart seems to require a lot more time than most folks: Something  which I  get a lot of flack for.  I just need people to not judge, if possible,  the value I put on my deep investment in family, and not expect that I am able to process them all at the same rate most folks are able to do. :)

When I decide to invest, I'M ALL IN!  So suffice it to say that I'm ALL IN as I invest in this new adventure with my husband and best friend - while at the same time, still untangling 23 years worth of "heartstrings" from my years spent training up our girls!!! Add to that the addition of our first grandchild who will be in the United States, while we are here. (This will necessitate frequent trips home to see him! :) Needless to say, my heart is processing a lot of changes, but I'm glad that they are all GOOD CHANGES! And I'm doing it all "poco a poco" as they say here in Costa Rica:  means "little by little".

What a blessing, then, to have the validation of Caitlin and Kalen- Shelbye and Daniel, as we pursue the passion God has put in our hearts for as long as He has for us to do so. You'd be surprised the people whose children have resented them pursuing their dreams, and actually expected them to "be there for them on demand!"

Please,  don't misunderstand: We will be there for our children and grandchildren as much as we are needed, no matter the distance. We will be there for them should they need us without question or hesitation!    BUT - WE HAVE HAD TO HOLD ON TO THE LORD IN ORDER TO LET GO of the fact that our kids don't need us all the time anymore!  They are where we were when we began our family, and its time to step completely out of the way so that they may establish their households and train up their children the way they see fit!  There is freedom in that for them as we'll as for us!  FREEDOM, btw, is one of the concepts of His Grace that we love and teach!

During our stay in Fort Worth, Texas, we will begin to divest ourselves of "stuff" and then put our home up for sale.  As I try to end this story, I am preparing to go to bed so I can arise early to head to the American Embassy in San Jose, Costa Rica with Mark to begin the "penciando residency" paperwork.

How long do we plan to be here? Well, we're not sure, but we keep hearing 5. We aren't sure what that is referring to specifically.  Although 5  is the number of Grace - which is the Kingdom message and  mandate The Lord has given us to spread wherever we go - it doesn't necessarily have to mean "years". Since we haven't heard specifically from Him what 5 means right now, we are leaving that up to Him to reveal to us as we go along!

In the midst of all these changes, Mark and I have definitely reached a place that is best described by Elizabeth Gilbert's favorite word from the story of her search for God in her famed novel and movie EAT, PRAY, LOVE. Her favorite "word" was  "Atraverssiamo", and I seem to have adopted it in our current circumstances as one of my favorite words.   It's an Italian word which means-"Let's cross over!", and it would appear that this is exactly what we're doing, once again, in our 29 years together---So, C'mon Baby - let's cross over!


Hasta luego y'all

Gracia  y paz

Jeanie

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